I have a wonderful & dear friend who I met through TCTPMS. While we worked for the same company we never actually worked together. She left TCTPMS several years ago and is now back, in charge of one of the markets I work for. I was a bit leery of this arrangement, as while this person is a lovely individual she also is a DRAMA QUEEN. And when I say DRAMA QUEEN, I mean a DRAMA QUEEN. And have I mentioned when it comes to work I have little patience or tolerance for drama queens? In my personal life, I can deal with it, even enjoy it, as long as it's in small doses (i.e. for the weekend). Anyway -- not to be too dramatic about it, but this wonderful & dear friend is cruising for a bruising. I am sick of her whining and procrastinating. I am fed up with her bullshit and bluster. Just do what the fuck you said you were going to do instead of giving me the whole song & dance why you couldn't, didn't, or won't get it done. I'm really trying hard to separate the work stuff from my personal feelings but whatever goodwill I had is quickly being depleted. Because you're fucking with my livelihood & reputation now bitch.
My bad. I've mentioned her about a million times and have been misspelled her name each & every time. Who knew there was an extra A in there? It wasn't until I was on her website (I can't help myself) that I realized this error. RachAel, if you are reading this, please accept this sincere apology. And I swear, one of these days I'm actually going to make one of those yummo 30 Minute meals. Really. www.rachaelraymag.com
Internet can you please explain to me what the hell was so funny about "The Wedding Crashers?" Yeah sure the first 20 minutes was pretty funny but then after that? Not much. And the goddamn movie was over 2 hours long. That's a long time for a comedy not to be funny. Was it up with that?
I love coming across a post or comment that really hits close to home, like this post over at http://les-cadeaux.diaryland.com/ about the difference between being comfortable vs. being in a rut. So true!
So me! And yet it's not me, it's someone else. That's why I love you internet.
I've spent the day catching up on General Hospital and have come to this conclusion: time has not been kind to Rick Springfeld.
I've had this song stuck in my head the last few days. I've probably heard this song approximately 20 million times in my life and still don't know what the fuck it's about. What is a round about and why will it change the day your way??
I'll be the round about
The words will make you out 'n' out
You change the day your way
Call it morning driving thru the sound and
In and out the valley
The music dance and sing
They make the children really ring
I spend the day your way
Call it morning driving thru the sound and
In and out the valley
Chorus
In and around the lake
Mountains come out of the sky and they
Stand there
One mile over we'll be there and we'll see
You
Ten true summers we'll be there and
Laughing too
Twenty four before my love you'll see I'll be
There with you
I will remember you
Your silhouette will charge the view
Of distance atmosphere
Call it morning driving thru the sound and
Even in the valley
Chorus
Along the drifting cloud the eagle searching
Down on the land
Catching the swirling wind the sailor sees
The rim of the land
The eagle's dancing wings create as weather
Spins out of hand
Go closer hold the land feel partly no more
Than grains of sand
We stand to lose all time a thousand answers
By in our hand
Nex to your deeper fears we stand
Surrounded by a million years
I'll be the roundabout
The words will make you out 'n' out
I'll be the roundabout
The words will make you out 'n' out
Chorus
I'll be the roundabout
The words will make you out 'n' out
I spend the day your way
Call it morning driving thru the sound and
In and out the valley
Chorus
ok-now-I have-enough-money-to-pay-the-con-ed-bill-and-phone-bill raise. Not even. I understand the any raise is good. I understand that I could be way worse off. I also understand that no way does the raise begin to cover all the OTHER increases lately: maintentance, insurance, etc. etc. As Iris DeMent says "easier is getting harder every day."
But first I'm just wondering -- am I getting fired from TCTPMS? I don't why (well I do, but really can't go into it on the internet for christs sake) but I'm thinking this is a very real possibility. Not for anything I've done per se, just a general lay off thing. I'm also wondering -- if this happens, maybe it wouldn't be the worse thing in the world? See, I've been here a long time and am bored, frustrated and thoroughly disenchanted with everything. Maybe this is the kick in the ass I need. Of course, I need my paycheck so the thought of not having that freaks me out slightly. I'm supposed to have my review tomorrow, which has been postponed several times. Hmmm. Is this a real thing or am I just being paranoid?
How many of you watch "$40 A Day" on the Food Network? For those of you not familiar with it, Rachel Ray (RR) goes to different cities and her challenge is to eat on $40 a day. I totally love this show (great for armchair travelers) and was especially excited when the episode Tuesday night featured Southern Vermont. In case you haven't memorized every post on this blog, every Oct. a group of former TCTPMS people get together in Southern Vermont to enjoy each others company and more importantly, to eat and drink like pigs. Last Oct. my friend made arrangements for us to have dinner in a small cafe that's gotten great reviews and is usually only a breakfast/lunch place. Anyway. Guess where RR had breakfast? That's right my friends. At the Rooster Cafe. Where we had our dinner. And this made me very excited (I realize how pathetic it is that this is what I'm excited about but I can't help it & I don't care. I'm lame and proud of it! - Besides, I have nothing else to get too excited about at this point so I'll take it where I can get it). Anyway. How cool was that? The really funny thing was so of course I had VT on the mind after seeing the show and yesterday out of the blue two people from our VT crew called me. And they didn't even see the show!
But as intense and personal as the songwriting process was, she sees the result as a matter of shared experience. "... it's not like I'm the first person to lose my parents, it's just that they were incredibly famous. But I've given this record to friends of mine who've lost parents, and they tell me what's meaningful to them about these songs, and to me that service is the ultimate. If that doesn't happen, then it's just narcissism."
As you may know (from my 600 mentions of it), I've been eagerly anticipating the release of the new Rosanne Cash cd "Black Cadillac" which came out yesterday. And was delivered to my door today (thank you Amazon!). You know how sometimes you're really pysched about something and then it doesn't live up to your (escalated) expectations? Well that did not happen here. I just listened to it for the first (and not the last) time and it's amazing! I can't name a favorite track just yet (I lied, it's "God Is in the Roses"). There was a great article on Rosanne is Sundays NYT (go to www.rosannecash.com for all the links, reviews & accolades) and it's made me love her even more. Oh man, I am so I loving this album. Thank you Rosanne. Thank you capturing so many of my thoughts and feelings, things I could never articulate or communicate and for making it all sound so beautiful.
*********************************************************************
Maybe I've been watching too much PO5 but on tonight's Lost, when Jack taking care of Charlie, didn't he sound like he was talking to one of the Salinger kids. You'll never do that again, right Claudia?
It's a rainy Monday here in the city that never sleeps. Monday's bother me more than the gloominess. I don't mind the gloom as it usually matches my mood. I feel like if it's sunny out you're should be in a good mood. Like it's expected of you. But if it's a gloomy day you can be grumpy and no one questions it. So it's like the pressure is off.
Had myself a pretty good weekend. You know I'm still marveling about being able to leave the house for more than a 1/2 hour so when I tell you I took the train to see the BF (about 2.5 hour ride) you know I was fucking THRILLED. Hung out with the BF and this was the first time in about a million years where I actually felt like she was my BF. Like we had a real connection. We talked about some real things and made me really happy that I decided to go. Part of the problem is that the BF has a husband & kids (who I adore) but I'm always having to share her with & hey, I was here first.
Yesterday was all about errands (store, laundry the usual) and trying to watch Season 2 of "Party of Five". I couldn't wait for them to release S2 since seen I'd seen all the other seasons except this one. So it finally comes out and you know what? It kinda sucks. All the whining. All the anguish. All the pouting. All the women Charlie (I mean Jack, I mean Charlie) fucks. I'm seriously having a hard time getting through it and I certainly can't watch more than two episodes in a row. Do I give up on the Salingers? Do I abandon Bailey and his dimples? Do I discard them as callously as Charlie (or is it Jack?) discards all his women? Maybe I'll give it another week.
My niece loves herself a good plate of ribs so I told her about the BBQ place; she & her boy went to check it out yesterday. Her pronouncement? YUMMY!! And she totally concured on the mac & cheese: AWESOME!
Talking to myself and feeling old
Sometimes I'd like to quit
Nothing ever seems to fit
Hangin around, nothing to do but frown
Rainy days and mondays always get me down
What I've got they used to call the blues
Nothing is really wrong
Feeling like I don't belong
Walking around some kind of lonely clown
Rainy days and mondays always get me down
Funny but it seems I always wind up here with you
It's nice to know somebody loves me
Funny but it seems that it's the only thing to do
To run and find the one who loves me
What I feel is come and gone before
No need to talk it out
We know what it's all about
Hanging around, nothing to do but frown
Rainy days and mondays always get me down
Funny but it seems that it's the only thing to do
Run and find the one who loves me
Hangin around, nothing do to but frown
Rainy days and mondays always get me down
The best part of the evening (besides the ribs of course) was getting to hang out with my friend Jay. I met him about 11 years ago, through the BF. We've been tight for so long, sometimes I totally take his friendship for granted, which I shouldn't. I love him like he was my brother, wish more guys would be like him. Except for when he's being a pain in the ass. No matter what -you can always, always count on him. Whether it's going for dinner or going to buy socks, Jay is there for you. And knowing that there is someone always there for you is way more satisfying than any macaroni & cheese. No matter how creamy & delicicous it is.
You know how when someone you know gets engaged and starts planning their wedding and that's ALL they can talk about? Every fucking day, all day long. I am working with one of those people and it's like the fucking Wedding Channel here & I can't turn it off. How much can I fake being interested? A few years ago the BF's SIL was planning a wedding and oh my god. The drama. The dresses. The money spent. So after spending oodles of $$ and having this huge fucking big deal wedding they've broken up because she started seeing someone else 'cause it turned out hubby wasn't someone she wanted to spend her life with. HELLO!! People (and by people I mean the brides) get so caught up in the whole wedding hoopla that I think they forget it's the marriage and not the wedding that's important. The one at work was commenting that planning a wedding is so hard and someone told her "planning a wedding is easy, being married is hard". Amen to that. Here I am, acting all high & mighty, when my own marriage went south in about 20 minutes. I can plead that we were young (so young!) so naive (oh so naive!) and just plain old stupid (hell yeah!). Did I have a clue what marriage was all about when I was 20? I didn't have a clue what life was all about!! I still don't but that's besides the point. Plus, I didn't have a big wedding and didn't bore the hell out of everyone talking about it ALL THE TIME!!!
QUESTION FOR BLOG SAVVY PEOPLE: How come I'm getting hits from http://manlierthanhell.blogspot.com?? Their blogs says
"We are a small group of christian guys from The Rock Church. We're meeting once a week to learn more about god, and the men that god wants us to be! like him.. to break free of the worldly molds, and truely have a heart to do great things for the Lord, Jesus."So we know this is right up my alley! And not just one or two hits so I might think it was a fluke but I've had several hits on several days. Do you think someone over there is looking for young boy f***** spoons?
Seriously, if you're reading this blog from manlier than hell please tell me how the hell you found your way over here. Not that you're not welcome here, you're just aroused my curiousity.
if I'm the only person not going on or who just got back from a vacation?
One of my favorite blog reads, Janet at The Art of Getting By http://www.theartofgettingby.com/ has been nominated in the
best overall blog category over at the BOB's (best of blogs). Janet really really really wants to win so I say damm it Janet! Why not? You deserve it! Go rock the vote people.
http://www.thebestofblogs.com/vote-here/
I want someone to write a love song for me. A love song like this. OK, they don't really have to write a whole song. But it would be nice if someone just thought this way about me.
All The Right Reasons by the Jayhawks
As I lay upon my bed, I begin dreaming
Of how it's gonna be the day that I am free
Once I settle like the dust upon the table
But then you came along
You helped me write this song
I don't know what day it is,
I can't recall the seasons
And I don't remember how we got this far
All I know is I'm loving you for all the right reasons
In my sky you'll always be my morning star
Like a tired bird flying high across the ocean
I was outside looking in
You made me live again
From the mountains to the prairies little babies
Figures fill their heads
Visions bathed in red
I don't know what day it is,
I can't recall the seasons
And I don't remember how we got this far
All I know is I'm loving you for all the right reasons
In my sky you'll always be my morning star
From the train in Manchester, England
Lightning fills the sky
As I watched you wave goodbye
From the mountains to the prairie little babies
Figures fill their heads
Visions bathed in red
I don't know what day it is,
I can't recall the seasons
And I don't remember how we got this far
All I know is I'm loving you for all the right reasons
In my sky you'll always be my morning star
Got my copy of Entertainment Weekly today (with the yummy George Clooney on the cover) and was thrilled to see a story on Rosanne Cash! She is one of my all time favorite singer/songwriters. Can't wait to hear the new album, "Black Cadillac." I saw her last year at the Rubin Museum -- it was one of the most wonderful & intimate shows I've ever been to. If you are a fan of intelligent, poignant lyrics, give her a listen. Especially if you've gone through the loss of a parent. Her songs speak to me in a way few others have.
Well I didn't rock the town today but I did spend my morning doing some long-needed errands. And it felt good. Felt good to leave the house without anxiety and to take care of business. People I'm here to tell you: don't take feeling good for granted. I'm still on the steroids but a lower dosage. I see the dr. this week, so maybe he'll take me off them. I'm so thankful that they worked but the sleeplessness is taking its toll. Of course having a stupid car alarm blaring outside my window ALL NIGHT LONG did not help the not-sleeping. Fucking assholes. I hope their battery went dead.
BAGEL FYI: THE EVERYTHING BAGEL FROM H & H BAGELS IS THE BEST BAGEL IN THE WORLD. EVER.
*Have a good weekend internet*
Four jobs I have had in my life:
- Advertising Coordinator
- Secretary
- Babysitter
- School Cafeteria Worker
Four Movies I could watch over and over:
- Terms of Endearment
- Coal Miners Daughter
- Almost Famous
- Philadelphia Story
Four places I have lived:
- My parents house
- With my best friend & her husband
- With roommates
- by myself
- The Shield
- The Wire
- Sex & The City
- Homicide
Four Places I have been on vacation:
- Hawaii
- Florida
- California
- Arizona
Four websites I visit daily:
http://www.amalah.com/
http://groups.msn.com/GeneralHospitalHappeningsTwo/yourwebpage29.msnw
http://failedlady.blogspot.com/
http://wfuv.org/
Four of my favorite foods:
- Mashed potatoes
- Cheesy lasagna
- Refried beans, chips, cheese, sour cream & salsa (aka gunk)
- Planters Peanut Bars
Four places I'd rather be:
- A beach .. any beach
- Getting a massage
- In bed
- Gossiping with my girlfriends
Four albums I can't live without:
- Anything by Jackson Browne
- "The Wheel" Rosanne Cash
- "Blue" Joni Mitchell
- "Everywhere" Greg Trooper
For my co-worker at TCTPMS:
OH MY GOD. SHUT THE FUCK UP. If you need to fight with your mother/boyfriend/whoever please do it outside. Away from me. On your own fucking time.
Now back to our regularly scheduled post.
Here's some ideas for posts that I've considered & rejected in the past few days. All of which I totally reserve the right to revisit if I can actually think of something to say on these subjects without sounding like a whiny pathetic loser.
- Why Am I Always Attracted to Guys Who Are Not Attracted to Me?
- Where Can I Meet Some Nice Single Guys Who Are Atttracted to Me?
- Will I Ever Have Sex Again?
- Why My New Health Insurance Plans Sucks Even More Than the Last One
- Why I Must Stop Eating Planters Peanut Bars Before I Explode
The highlight of my week? "The Shield" is back with new episodes. I love, love, LOVE this show & it has only gotten better with time. If the first episode was any indication, it's going to be a great, great, GREAT season. Would you like some gum?
Wow, I'm totally coming up empty today. I usually have an idea or three for a post but today.... zip. Zilch. Zippo. The Golden Sombrero. Holy moley, my mind is emptier than... well... jeez, I can't even come up with a simple analogy. So screw me and this boring blog and go visit some of the very funny people on my blogroll. But come back ok?
I've been dreading the knock on my door -- but I knew it was coming and I knew it was something I was going to have to deal with. I got back from Target this morning (YES! I went to Target at 10 am on a Sunday morning and it was still filled with screaming kids) and wasn't even in the house long enough to take my coat off when I heard the knock. Needy Neighbor was there, with apology in hand. And you know what I told her? I accept your apology but you did cross a line and I don't want anything to do with you. Oh, I may have said it a little nicer than that (not much) but there it is. She asked for another chance at being friends but I told her I don't want to have any part of her drama. Told her she was nice enough but way too needy for me. So now that's not awkward is it? Living right next door to someone you want absolutely nothing to do with. But hey? What am I supposed to do? Keep dealing with her endless bullshit problems? No thank you. Of course I'll be polite when I see her but keep it quite clear the line is drawn and I'm staying on my (sane) side of it. Yeah for standing up for myself!!
It's amazing how much better I'm feeling. How bad I felt is already becoming a distant memory -- thank goodness. Now I face a different challenge -- my excuse (however legitimate) for not doing stuff is gone so I have to get off my butt. Which is a good thing since lately I've been feeling so bored & boring, so stale & stagnant. I'm ready for some new experiences. Which is good because I live in one of the most culturally rich, diverse, accessible and exciting cities in the world. IN THE WORLD. And I don't take nearly enough advantage of that. I let my laziness & procrastination get in the way and then I might as well be living in Osh Kosh (no offense but you know what I mean). So what's on my agenda for the weekend? Probably nothing. But next weekend? I'm going to rock this town. Any ideas?
You know what song I love? "Free Falling" by Tom Petty. Of course whenever I hear it, I think of the scene in "Jerry MacGuire" (one of my favorite-est movies ever) when Tom Cruise is in the car, trying to find a song to sing along to. And now that I think about it Tom Petty has a great catalog of music and IMHO does not get enough respect. Go buy his boxed set (Playback) & show the guy some love. **
She's a good girl, loves her mam a
Loves jesus and america too
She's a good girl, crazy bout elvis
Loves horses and her boyfriend too
It's a long day living in reseda
There's a freeway runnin through the yard
And I'm a bad boy cause I don't even miss her
I'm a bad boy for breakin' her heart
And I'm free, free fallin'
Yeah I'm free, free fallin'
All the vampires walkin' through the valley
Move west down ventura boulevard
And all the bad boys are standing in the shadows
All the good girls are home with broken hearts
And I'm free, free fallin'
Yeah I'm free, free fallin'
Free fallin', now I'm free fallin', now i'm
Free fallin', now I'm free fallin', now i'm
I wanna glide down over mulholland
I wanna write her name in the sky
Gonna free fall out into nothin;
Gonna leave this world for a while
And I'm free, free fallin'
Yeah I'm free, free fallin'
**This post was not brought to you by Tom Petty.
My friend Jay is a huge Mets fan so even though my baseball loyalty lies with the Yankees I've been known to attentd a Mets game every now & then. In the past we have split a Mets "six pack" ticket package so we can get tickets to the Yanks-Mets games. The Mets have been so pitiful the last few years I always look forward to receiving their ticket solicitations since their PR dept. has to really work overtime to spin their suckiness. So I really got a chuckle at this years....
The clubs best record since 2000, the emergence of sensational young talent on our roster, and a bullish approach towards key players acquisitions this offseason are generating significant buzz and anticipation as we head towards 2006.
W L
2000 94 68
2001 82 80
2002 75 86
2003 66 95
2004 71 91
2005 83 79
Do I have a point to make other than how much this made me laugh? No, not really. How many more days til spring training?
Oh, and I'm totally addicted to Lays Wavy chips. Seriously addicted.
What a great fucking weekend. Did absolutely nothing but eat, lay on the couch, watch tv, eat some more & do lots of nothing. Oh yeah! Getting out of my pj's this morning was pure torture. Another couple of days of that, well, let's not kid ourselves. Another couple of days of that & I wouldn't been able to fit into my pj's. I'm still on the steroids & oh my god... it's like having the munchies without the buzz. All I can think about it food. And what to eat next. And then what to eat after that. All the weight I lost the past couple of months is coming back FAST. Hopefully I'm off the 'roids in another day or so. And not that I expect you to be excited about this but going off the meds means my horrible intenstinal problems are OVER! Keep your fingers crossed. I mean, I actually went out to dinner the other night. Like a real person.
The only dark cloud over the weekend was the crazy neighbor incident. Which? Pisses me off. Then I get more pissed off for lettting her manipulate me like that & then I just get really pissed off. So lady, don't come knocking on my door 'cause there's one pissed off mf'er behind it.
