Thursday, July 28, 2005
Former Hottie, Now A Nottie

Sometimes, when I'm plagued by self doubt and low self esteem (who am I kidding? that's most of the time) I wonder how in the world am I ever gonna get me a man in this town? Let's face facts: I'm 42. I'm cute but not THAT cute. I ain't 17 anymore (that's me back in the day). I do have a sparkling personality, sharp wit and vast knowledge of baseball and other useless trivia, I just don't think that's enough in this town. When I see these young girls I wonder, how the hell do I compete with that? And do I want to?

Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Know What Sucks

About being single? Or maybe it's just about being grown up. Or being single and grown up. The feeling that no one has your back. For instance, when that whole Andy thing happened, if it were 10-20 years ago several people would've offered to kick the shit out of him for me. Now, nada. OK, I never would have let them but it would've been nice to be asked.

Great pitching by the Big Johnson last night.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Blogging About Boggs

One of my favorite players, Wade Boggs, will be inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, NY this weekend. Good eye Boggsie! Also kudos & congratulations to long-time Cubs 2nd baseman Ryne Sandburg who will also be inducted.

Boggs will go in wearing a Red Sox cap, which is only right.

“The choice of which team’s logo appears on a player’s plaque is our decision,” said Hall of Fame President Dale Petroskey. “The wishes of each inductee were considered, but ultimately, it is important that the logo be emblematic of the historical accomplishments of that player’s career. A player’s election to the Hall of Fame is a career achievement, and as such, every team for which the Hall of Famer played will be listed. The logo selection is based on where that player makes his most indelible mark.”

Boggs played 11 of his 18 seasons (1982-’92) in Boston, appearing in 1,625 of his 2,439 career games (67 percent) with the Red Sox. Boggs totaled 2,098 of his 3,010 career hits (70 percent) with the Red Sox, with all four of his top-10 Most Valuable Player finishes coming in Boston. Boggs also spent five years with the New York Yankees (1993-’97) and two seasons with the Tampa Bay Devil Rays (1998-’99).

“If you take away any of my time spent with any of the three teams in my career, I’m likely not considered a Hall of Famer,” said Boggs. “It’s a decision they made and I’m fine with it. If the Hall of Fame had picked my Little League cap, I would have been happy with that.”


I really got into baseball back in '93, when Boggs the third baseman for the Yanks. I'll be honest, it wasn't the hitting stats or his defensensive skills that got me hooked, it was his arms and butt. However, one can't (and shouldn't)ignore the stats*:

Major League Debut: April 10, 1982

Boggs reached base safely in an incredible 80% of his games and was the only batter in the twentieth century to have seven consecutive 200-hit seasons. (Wee Willie Keeler pulled off eight straight from 1894 to 1901.) He appeared in twelve All-Star games as a third baseman, second only to Brooks Robinson. In the seven years between 1982 and 1988 he batted .349 or higher six times. In his off-year he hit .325.

Boggs' methodical, perfection-driven approach to hitting was an extension of his methodical personality. The quirky Boggs was one of the most superstitious players baseball has ever seen: he awoke at the same time every morning, ate chicken before every game (Jim Rice nicknamed him "Chicken Man"), and took exactly 150 ground balls during infield practice.

For night games, Boggs stepped into the batting cage at 5:17 and ran wind sprints at 7:17. (Trying to hex him, a scoreboard operator in Toronto once flipped the stadium clock directly from 7:16 to 7:18.) Before each at-bat Boggs would draw the Hebrew word "Chai" in the batter's box, and his route to and from the playing field was so precise that by late summer his footprints were often clearly visible in the grass in front of his home dugouts.

All these automatic routines were the cogs and springs that powered the precise mechanism of his hitting. After getting his first major-league hit against the White Sox' Richard Dotson on April 26th, Boggs set the AL rookie standard with a .349 average in 1982. In '83, the Red Sox traded away Carney Lansford, his chief rival for the third base slot, and Boggs responded with a league-leading .361 average.
That marked the beginning of his seven consecutive 200-hit seasons. His easy left-handed stroke sprayed line drives to all fields, and while he was not known for his power -- in 1985 he set the AL record with 187 singles -- he stroked 24 home runs in 1987 and finished third in the league in slugging percentage. Don Mattingly nearly won the batting crown from him in 1986, but Boggs sat out of the Red Sox' final two games to preserve his .357 average and emerge victorious.

The embarrassing furor that arose after Boggs admitted in 1988 that he had committed adultery never seemed to distract him at the plate -- even when thousands of cutout masks of his mistress were distributed at Royals Stadium in Kansas City. But various injuries (wrist, toe, back, hip) slowed Boggs in his second decade. From 1990 to 1997 Boggs "only" averaged .307, and his low point came in '92 when the Sox finished last for the first time since 1939. Neither Boggs nor his .259 average helped much. A change of scene was the ticket, and Boggs signed with the Yankees after that season.
Boggs was back to his old .300 self in 1993 for the contending Yanks, and made his first of four consecutive All-Star starts in pinstripes. At the age of 36, Boggs won his first Gold Glove in 1994 and repeated the following year. The oldest first-time winner since the award was introduced in 1957, Boggs proved that his persistence and hard work weren't just limited to his magic with the bat. He had come a long way from his rookie year, when he booted the first two grounders hit to him.

But 1996 was the real feather in his cap. Ten years after Boston's agonizing loss to the Mets in the World Series, Boggs found himself back in the Fall Classic. This time his sharp eye and patience at the plate reaped the ultimate dividend. Batting against Steve Avery in the tenth inning of Game 4, Boggs drew a bases-loaded walk to win the game and tie the series. Momentum suddenly belonged to New York, and when the Yankees clinched after Game 6, Boggs led the team in its victory lap -- on horseback, courtesy of the NYPD -- with his fist aloft.

But it was Charlie Hayes, and not Boggs, who made the series-ending catch at third base. In retrospect, it was a telling omen. Boggs only started 88 games in '97 after enduring the worst month of his career, a .143 May. (He did appear in one game as a pitcher against Anaheim, retiring three of four Angels with a knuckler inspired by his childhood hero, Phil Niekro.)

While Boggs heated up to .417 for September, it was too little, too late. The Yanks similarly sputtered, bowing to the Indians in the Division Series, and in the off-season Boggs signed with the expansion Tampa Bay Devil Rays.

Boggs made a splash by socking the first home run in Devil Rays history, and in the relatively low-key environment of his hometown -- he was an all-state kicker on the football team for Tampa's Plant High School -- Boggs seemed virtually assured of reaching the 3,000-hit plateau. He reached the historic milestone on August 7, 1999 with a home run to right field against Chris Haney of the Indians. Boggs kissed home plate after circling the bases. It was the first time in baseball a player's 3,000th hit was a round-tripper. "I love to hit home runs," Boggs had told the New York Times earlier that season. "I was a home run hitter in high school, but then something happened. The parks just got bigger." Shortly after collecting his 3,000th hit, a knee injury put Boggs on the DL for just the third time in his long career. Satisfied with his achievements, the legendary hit machine decided it was time to retire.
Boggs was not considered much of a prospect in the minors, but was well reviewed very early in his career by one Hall of Fame scout. Aged eighteen months, his photo was shown to Ted Williams during a Game of the Week telecast, and Williams called the infant's swing "perfect." (WAG/JGR)

Played For
Boston Red Sox (1982-1992), New York Yankees (1993-1997), Tampa Bay Devil Rays (1998-1999)

1986 ALCS, 1986 World Series, 1988 ALCS, 1990 ALCS, 1995 ALDS, 1996 ALDS, 1996 ALCS, 1996 World Series, 1997 ALDS

All-Star (12): 1985-1996; Gold Glove 1994-1995; elected to the Hall of Fame in 2005.

Uniform #'s
#26 (1982-1992), #12 (1993-1999)

Transaction Data (courtesy
June 8, 1976: Drafted by the Boston Red Sox in the 7th round of the 1976 amateur draft; October 26, 1992: Granted Free Agency; December 15, 1992: Signed as a Free Agent with the New York Yankees; November 11, 1995: Granted Free Agency; December 5, 1995: Signed as a Free Agent with the New York Yankees; November 1, 1997: Granted Free Agency; December 9, 1997: Signed as a Free Agent with the Tampa Bay Devil Rays.

Best Season, 1987
Boggs won his third straight batting title (.363) and collected exactly 200 hits. He also drew 105 walks while striking out just 48 times. He lashed 40 doubles, six triples, and 24 home runs (by far his career-standard). Hitting mostly leadoff, he drove in 89 runs and scored 108 times. In '88 he won his fourth straight batting crown.

Boggs collected his 3,000th hit on August 6, 1999, one day after Tony Gwynn had reached the milestone. Boggs became the first player to hit a home run for his 3,000th hit.

Hitting Streaks
28 games (1985, when he hit .402 with 20 runs scored); 25 games (1987, hit .458 with 23 runs, 14 extra-base hits, 12 RBI, and 22 walks); 20 games (in 1986, when he went 34-for-84 for a .405 average)

Boggs hit .344 for his career with runners in scoring position. He also batted .363 with the bases loaded.

*courtesy of

Monday, July 25, 2005
This is What It's Come Down To

I work in an office mostly comprised of men. I should say immature boys who are incapable of using the copier, fax or any computer-related equipment. Or of having any common sense. Who think the world revolves around them. This is the memo I was forced into writing because someone drank all my milk & took my newspaper. Grrr!!!

To: Everybody

From: Lisa

Date: July 25, 2005

Please be respectful of other people’s stuff: don’t use it or take it without permission. This includes all items in the refrigerator and on someone’s desk. Seriously. It’s called common courtesy.

Thank you.

Sunday, July 24, 2005
May I Have Your Attention Please?

Spending the afternoon going through old papers, letters, pics, etc. Found my final paper from my creative writing class, June 1980 (got a 95). The reason I bring this up (besides bragging about the 95) was because this is what I wrote in the about the author portion...

"Lisa was a brilliant baby many say. With her great big brown intellicual eyes and her winning smile, people knew that some day she would be somebody! With the publication of this book, that day has arrived.

During the time that Lisa doesn't attend High School she likes to go to the beach, listsen to music, be with her friends and listen to people who compliment her writing."

So I guess I was wrong internet. I was an attention whore back then too.

OK, here's my favorite (this is a quatrain - I have no idea what that means)

He laughs, he cries
his life's all the same
She moans, she sighs
she puts him to blame

Complaining she
tells him I want out
to be finally free
of this life's drought

Pretty intense for a 17 year old huh?

My Name is Lisa & I Want to Be

I discovered blogs after suffering through a few really quiet days at work. I loved the whole concept and community of it all. As a wanna-be writer (since I was old enough to hold a pen and think in complete sentences) the thought of starting a blog appealed to me. It took me a while to have the confidence to do it, I am pretty much a techno-idiot, don't know my HTML from my RSS. That obstacle hurdled (thanks Blogspot) all that was left for me to do was think of something to write about. Considering I'm never at a loss for things (i.e., me) to write about I started this blog a few months ago & have found it to be a great outlet, a creative way to blow off steam, work through some thoughts and really just talk to myself. Then I discovered stat counters. And now I'm a blog whore. What started out as a way to share private thoughts in a public forum has unleashed in me some need to shout LOOK AT ME!! from the rooftops. I WANT TO BE DOOCE.COM. And I mean that in the nicest, most complimentary way. I love reading DOOCE.COM. What I would do for to have half of Heather's talent and a quarter of her readership. Or the other way around. I WANT TO BE DOOCE.COM (without the getting fired, living in Utah or having a kid part). I want well-deserved accolades and a devoted internet following. I want hits on my counter goddamit!! I want to people near and far and throughout the land to be hanging on my every keystroke. I WANT SOME ATTENTION INTERNET. I NEED SOME ATTENTION! Help feed my hit-deprived ego. Show me some blog love iternet.

Friday, July 22, 2005
The Fantastic Four: A Photo Essay of the Men in My Life

There have been four men in my life who I've had meaningful romantic relationships with. Guys who knew the real me and loved me anyway. Guys who bought me flowers for no other reason than they loved me. Guys who changed my life and have shaped my views on men, relationships and love in general.

The first was Ross (upper left). No one was more surprised than me when one of the cutest, nicest guys in school expressed interest in me. Someone who wanted to hang out with me for some other reason than trying to get into my (virgin) pants. It was August 79 and Ross would come down from upstate where he was spending the summer to hang out with me. Take me to the movies. Go to concerts with me. And kiss me. And kiss me. And kiss me. I would come home with razor burn chin and bruised lips. Once school started we were a certified and inseperable couple. Couple of horny kids. We engaged in some very public PDA's. Like the time we were in Central Park and were obliviously humping away until he came in his pants. The poor guy had to ride the subway home with a pantful of cum. After six months of doing everything BUT we had sex. It was like a door to a new world had opened up. But it wasn't just about the sex, we were in LOVE. Absolutely crazy in love. Like any other teenaged relationship eventually it ran its course and we broke up. I never regretted giving him my virginity or my love.

My relationship with Brendan (2nd rown right) started in the summer of '81. I knew him from HS, but didn't really know him. He had great long hair and was kinda a hippie guy. Not in a bad slacker way but in a cool nature loving way. One day, fortified with alot of vodka & grapefruit juice, I called his house (after calling and hanging up about a bazillion times - pre star 69 days). We talked for a while and he met me later that night. Pretty much from that night on we were together. Our first real "date" was to see "Raiders of the Lost Ark". My friend Christine came with us. He feel asleep during the movie and instead of being embarrassed I liked him even more for it. He really was his own man. He turned me on to fusion music and we really got into it. He also turned me on to a local fusion band, Nitesprite. We saw them hundreds of times. We hung out with Brendan's friends alot; I met alot of great people through Brendan. And that's where the problem started. He was friends with these two brothers, Mikey and Dick. Dick & I had some musical interests that the others didn't share and no one thought twice about Dick & I going to see some shows together. Until Dick & I slept together. I'll spare you all the nasty details but we were eventually busted. Bren & I split up, got back together back and forth like that for quite some time. Sometimes I was still sleeping with Dick, sometimes not. It was an ugly and unstable time in my life. The back and forth was so crazy, half the time I didn't know if I was coming or going. I really regret my actions, Bren was a really nice guy who I hurt. Alot.I talked to him a few weeks ago, and he told me that I had been the love of his life. Really sweet guy. But back to the back and forth. Finally we just stopped the craziness and made a break.

When we finally made the break I met a guy named Steve (middle). He was a buddy of a friend of mine and just had gotten out of the AF and had a tatoo. He was sweet and silly and was a way to put the whole Brendan thing behind me. He was a clean slate. Steve and I decided to move to Dallas. Here I was, moving halfway across the country with this guy I knew for like 3 months. We lived with some friends for a while and then played house on our own. That was when I started learning what it was like to be a grown up. We lived hand to mouth, penny to penny. We couldn't afford a phone. Or food sometimes. If someone needed to get a hold of me they needed to call my friends house, she would come over and give me the message. I think this really made us closer, it was us against the world. Then we decided to get married. Our families were not thrilled; that just strengthened our resolve that much more. We married in Dec. of 84. After returning to Dallas, I decided I didn't want to be away from my family anymore. I don't who was more surprised by that realization, him or me. So we packed up the UHaul, the cat and came back to NYC. And that's where it started to go wrong. It wasn't us against the world anymore. Soon I was a 22 year old divorcee.

Frank (aka Frank the Fox (bottom) was a friend of my sisters. I had a crush on him for years, since he was dating my best friends sister. He was smart, clever, funny and cute. He had puppy dog eyes that could melt the meanest heart. My sister gave him my # and there I was, sitting across from him, drinking margaritas. Frank had the reputation of ALWAYS being late (I'm talking hours, not minutes late) but he showed up on time and was so charming. He made me laugh and made me think. Soon we were pretty exclusive and he was never on time again. We spent the next six years together. We agreed that we just wanted to be together, not live together or get married. It was an arrangement that suited both us and we were very happy for a long time. I really don't know what happened or where we went wrong; we broke up. A while after that he needed a place to live and he moved in (I had an extra bedroom). It was a purely platonic relationsip. How ironic -- here we were, a platonic couple living together. He developed a nasty drug habit and things went downhill pretty fast. Six months after I kicked him out, he died. I chose to remenber the good times for there were many. This was my first adult relationship. He taught me that just because you were with someone, that someone didn't have to be your whole world. And that you could be lonely, even when you weren't alone.

And that internet, was my last meaningful romantic relationship. Years have passed, and other men have come and gone but none of them could hold a candle to these guys. I know I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to thoroughly, totally and completely love these men. And to have been thoroughy, totally and completely loved in return.

Thursday, July 21, 2005
Guess What I Bought?

Here's Toni, celebrating her 1st birthday.

That's Emma last year in Central Park.

Happy Birthday!!

Happy Birthday to two of my most favorite people in the world (who also happen to be the daughters of two of my most favorite people EVER)

Miss Emma Lyn turns 7 today. She is smart, beautiful, fearless, creative and knows how to get exactly what she wants by using a combination of her charms. And she's a fashion plate to boot (If I ever get a scanner I'll be able to provide photographic proof of that). I love spending time with her, and am blessed that she's a part of my life.

My Toni Bologna celebrates her 24th birthday today if my math is correct. Whether she's 2, 12 or 24 she smiles and the world lights up. She was my "first", the first offspring of one of my friends, the first one to call me Aunt Lisa. Although I don't get to see her nearly enough I treasure her for the girl she was and the woman she has become.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Am I The Only One?

Just an observation from a very single girl living in a very crowded city:


Seriously, every where I look lately (and that includes you internet) everyone is with someone. Holding hands. Kissing. Laughing. Making plans. Having sex.

If there's another one of those 40-days, 40-nights floods coming, where you need to be on the ark 2 x 2 I am in a SHITLOAD OF TROUBLE.


I've spent the last few days pondering this question:

given the opportunity, what in my life would I do over? handle differently?

I've always maintained that I wouldn't do anything different but now that answer is not sitting well with me. There are things (and not just the big life changing moments, but the little stuff too) that I would do differently. Things I should have paid attention to, things I should have ignored and definitely roads I should not have gone down. I try to shy away from this train of thought but it's something that's in my head and can't help but think about.

What do you think about this internet?

Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Not Feeling It Today

Today's another hot humid awful day here in the Big Wet Apple. This kind of weather saps all energy right from your body; it's all I can do to keep my eyes open right now. And this weather just makes everyone crabby. Or crabbier. Why I agreed to go to the Mets game tonight is beyond me. All I want to do is go home, take off my bra & lay out on the couch.

Sunday, July 17, 2005
One More Thing

LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE. Keep your misery and stupid comments to yourself. If you are not going to do or say anything positive DO NOT COME TO MY HOUSE. Especially when I'm trying to watch "Million Dollar Baby". Which I learned a valuable lesson from, one I forget in dealing with Andy, the married man "ALWAYS PROTECT YOURSELF"

Saturday, July 16, 2005
I Would Just Like to Say

If you're a grown woman who's had the computer for over a year & you still don't know how to save or print STOP RININGING MY BELL!!

Friday, July 15, 2005
About the Time I Ran Away from Home

It's a slow Friday afternoon at work; so I'm going to tell you the story of Dave, or about the time I ran away from home.

It was July of '77 - I was your typical rebellious 14 year old. My parents were not thrilled about a new friend of mine, Liz. Her background was very different than mine and I think that really scared my parents. My parents were also very strict with me, not because of anything I had done, but because one of my older sisters was very wild and they didnt want me being like that.

By that summer I had already discovered pot, boys and cigarettes. And then my parents discovered my discoveries. I was busted for smoking a cigarette [btw, both my parents smoked so the hyprocisy was not lost on me]. The punishment: I was banned from seeing all my [new] friends. I did not, and still do not, like being told what to do. So I plotted my escape. And on the evening of July 19 snuck out of our pool club and made my way to the Port Authority Bus Terminal in NYC. My destination: Los Angeles.

I was waiting on the line, trying to lay low, when I noticed this really cute guy ahead of me on line. I was 14 and had no fear so I sat down next to him on the bus and started talking. He had the bluest of blue eyes and was, in the lexicon of the day, a total babe. His name was Dave Youmans, 19, from Jackson, NJ and headed to L.A. to start a new life. Of course, I said I was 18 and left out the runaway part. For the next 3 days we shared our seats & our lives. I had to cop to the runaway part, since mid-way across the country the cops came on the bus w/my pic (how embarrasing, my 8th grade graduation pic). Dave, and two other girls I befriended totally covered for me. I was on the greatest adventure of my young life. I had never seen the country before and to be on the road, looking at the rolling waves of corn and all the new and different sights, was life-changing. I had no plan other than to get to L.A.. I did not spend one minute worrying about what would come next.
I was only 14, but I felt myself falling in love: with the U.S. and with Dave. I had had crushes before but never felt anything like this.

On the 3rd day we entered California. I didn't want this experience to end. But soon it would. I had to start thinking about what would come next. Dave asked me what my plans were and did I want to stay with him? I told him no. I still don't know why I said that, because I did want to stay with him. We get to L.A. and are standing by the stairs -- again, he asked, do you want to come with me? And again, I said no. He told me to "take it easy" and was gone. That was the last time I saw Dave.

Whenever I hear "Helplessly Hoping" by CSNY I think of that time.

Helplessly hoping her harlequin hovers nearby
Awaiting a word
Gasping at glimpses of gentle true spirit he runs
Wishing he could fly
Only to trip at the sound of goodbye

Wordlessly watching he waits by the window and wonders
At the empty place inside
Heartlessly helping himself to her bad dreams he worries
Did he hear a good-bye?
Or even hello?

They are one person
They are two alone
They are three together
They are for each other

Stand by the stairway you'll see something certain to tell you
Confusion has its cost
Love isn't lying it's loose in a lady who lingers
Saying she is lost
And choking on hello

They are one person
They are two alone
They are three together
They are for each other

So Dave is gone and reality sets in. I was in L.A. with no money and no place to go. I was 14. I had 2 choices: turn myself in or become a hooker. I had a pen-pal, Laura, who lived in L.A. so I got her phone # and called her. Her mom, who had been contacted by my parents, came and got me. A few weeks later I returned home.

A few months later I wrote a letter expressing my feeling for him and addressed it to only Dave Youmans, General Post Office, Jackson, NJ. And do you know what? It got to him. I still can't explain it. He had just returned from CA. and from time to time he would call me. I would answer the phone and hear his voice and I would be the happiest girl in the world. It still makes me happy just thinking about it. Several years later he joined the army, I moved on and we lost touch. I've tried to find him from time to time but really, what would I say? I will always wonder what would've been if I had just said yes.

Life Goes On

People never fail me to amaze me. Sometimes with their stupidity and ignorance. Sometimes with their tactlessness and selfishness. And sometimes with their kindness and compassion. With their ability to make me feel less alone and more loved.

To the people who fall into the first group: FUCK YOU.

To the people in the second group: THANK YOU.

Thursday, July 14, 2005
For the Record

This is the true and actual email correspondence between me & MM. As you will notice, MM is a BIG FUCKING DICKHEAD. P.S. You can skip over the baseball stuff.

From Lisa
How's Bobby Abreu doing?

From andy
he's doing i told you. :)
how are you doing?

from lisa:
i bet you drafted barry bonds :)

from andy:
give me some credit..
i drafted rolen...friggin ex phillie sucks
any show tix for me? :)

from lisa:
pedro feliz baby!!
no tix right now....

from andy:
i thought you get everything? well, if you get tix let me know..unfotunately i don't have much to offer you unless you can think of something.


from lisa:
can you make my yanks get into first place?

From andy
anything else?

From lisa
can you make me 18 again?

From andy
i can't do that either..but i am open to anything else

from lisa

from andy
well throw something out there and we could discuss

from Lisa
what are you talking about?

From andy
what am i talking about?...i feel like i am in high school :)
tell me what you want...

from lisa
are we flirting or talking baseball?

From andy
we are not talking baseball...
talk to me..

from Lisa
you're cute but you're married!

From andy
i am just saying that we can meet for drinks and well..i will leave it to you....unless you don't want to.

From Lisa
I'd hate to start something I couldnt finish....

From andy
let me worry about that..
you let me know if you want to meet for drinks...we are allowed to have i owe you so ??
you live once my dear :)

From lisa
very tempting offer...

from andy
just take it..
when do you want to meet?

from lisa
are you REALLY serious?

how 'bout Wed?

from andy
wed is fine for me..where do you want to meet?

From andy
not sure if my last email went through...i had sent it through my phone. wed is do you want to do this...our little secret :)

From lisa
i feel myself blushing as i write this.....

i really don't have a clue where to meet -- do you want to stay in midtown or go downtown?

as for what we'll do: since we'll be at a bar, we'll have a drink, talk some baseball, share some awkward conversation. You'll be very charming and whisper sweet nothings in my ear....

from andy
i am not sure where you work, but there is a pretty good bar here on 32 and 7th..or we could do morgan bar on 37 and madison. how does that sound?

From lisa
37th & madison works for me...............

from andy
so whats our plan? we will have some drinks and take it from there? :)

from Lisa
as for what we'll do: since we'll be at a bar, we'll have a drink, talk some baseball, share some awkward conversation. You'll be very charming and whisper sweet nothings in my ear....

from andy
ok..and after that?

From Lisa
I'm not going to answer that -- I'm on my company's email!!

From andy
thats fine..i was just busting your chops with that question...we both know the answer to that..the other question is where :)

from lisa
whoa, big boy, calm down there.....
drinks....remember..... drinks....

besides, first you'll have to answer some trivia questions for me

from andy
ok...thats fair...i just thought, well...i apologize.
any phillies trivia i am going to answer..just to let you know.

From lisa
i'm a little curious
do you hit on all the owners?

from andy
very funny...just craig and gregg :)
you are not an owner anymore :)
plus it will be fun...

from lisa
more fun with me than gregg & craig!

From andy
i hope so!
do YOU do this with all the owners? :)
well... we will see what you know besides baseball :)

from lisa
i hope so! -- does that mean you have something to compare?
do YOU do this with all the owners? :) -- -- that's me, Annie Savoy of the Harry M. Stevens league

let's see if you can get into scoring position with less than 2 out

from andy
i am not going to whiff if thats your question....:)

from lisa
you seem very sure of yourself

from andy
well i am much more sure of myself than of abreu having a bad year.. :)
we will have some fun :)

from lisa
does that make you an all-star?

From andy
i guess you will find out, right?
and i will find out what kind of player you are too :)

hopefully not Duckworth

from lisa
too funny.
i am in a league of my own!

From andy
i guess we will see!
i think that our little secret will work out fine.

From andy
so wed is confirmed? what time do you get out?

From lisa


From andy
well...considering that i am my own boss..5.
are you psyched? are you surprised that we are doing this?

From lisa
Considering we havent DONE anything.....
but yes you and myself

from andy
your right...we haven't done anything yet. what do you drink?

From lisa
I noticed you put the YET in there.

From andy
you are quite the should have observed that much when you studied for the roto would have avoided duckworth :)

from lisa
bring up duckworth one more time and this whole deal is OFF!

From andy more du******
so why have you decided to meet with me?

From lisa
fishing for compliments are we? why did you ask me?

From andy
we are not in high can answer the question first.

From lisa
you are cute & funny.

From andy
so with all the emails, back and forth...we are set for wed after work and whatever happens, happens. if we both decide to have some fun with this then we does that sound?

From andy
wednesday baby!!!
are you phsyched??
its our little secret baby!!!!!

From lisa
so i shouldnt include it in the newsletter?

From andy
no..that wouldn't be good.

From lisa
well i dont kiss & tell

from andy
well what else don't you 'do and tell?'? :)

from lisa
for me to know and you to find out

from andy
well i will definitely fine out :)

from lisa
or you can die trying

from andy
well we are both in it for something, right? :)

from lisa
You never answered me, and I'm not complaining or anything, just curious: why this and why now?
And remember, you're not in high school anymore.

From andy
well to be honest, i have no rhyme or reason..just want to have fun and your cool so it should be great...thats all.

From lisa

From andy
and you have to bring my phils into this? :)
what are you looking to get out of this?

From lisa
greater understanding of mankind

from andy
well that was a good answer..really. well i hope your horny :)

from lisa
for me to know and you to find out

from andy
well i know for sure that you are not meeting just to talk baseball :)

from lisa
talking baseball can be very seductive.
look what it did for wade bogg's sex life

from andy
good point :)
if this goes well, we can meet once a week/every few weeks or whatever..:)

from Lisa
taking things for granted already?

From andy
well i wouldn't say that i am 'taking it for granted' since i haven't gotten 'it' yet :)

From lisa
but you're thinking about "it"

from andy
lets see how things go on wed.. i am very spontaneous...

from andy
how about Abreau baby!!!

From lisa
did you see that monster shot?

From andy
i did...i told you that he is the most underrated player in the game and look what he does...just listen to me and you'll do okay :)

From lisa
i hope so

from andy
tomorrow will be fun! have you been to morgan bar before? its nice..i bring all my female roto owners there :)

from lisa
i have some pre-game jitters -- i may need some extra bp

from andy
well you shouldn't have any jitters. we are both in the same boat, so to speak, so you be looking forward to not.

From lisa
I definitely need a drink.

From andy
lets keep it for tomorrow. are you there?

From andy
think of something nice you can do for me

from lisa
oh i am

from andy
ok...we will see how innocent or (not) that you are :)

from Lisa
i never claimed to be innocent (maybe just shy) i think it works to your advantage that i'm not

from andy
definitely works to my advantage..oh i cannot wait for tomorrow baby!!

From lisa
yes i am quite thirsty too

from andy
wow...we really should meet tonight :)

from lisa
will we be able to live up to all this hype?

From andy
it doesn't matter if we do, does it? its all good! are you really thirsty?

From lisa

From Andy
we are on for tomorrow..should be do today too or just wait for tomorrow

from lisa
i have plans for tonite. tomw will be here soon enough

from andy
ok..that's cool. we are on for tomorrow. i guess we can meet at 530 at morgan bar, between 37-38th on madison. i will wait outside. you are open to the once a week/2 weeks, right?
i will will think of yanks trivia and i will stump will never stump me on the phils..

SUMMATION: I will get beyond this but right now it's all very fresh in my mind. And I'm still real mad. And hurt. As LB pointed out, since this whole thing was very unlike me (casual sex, sex with a married guy) that maybe this really was for the better. I am not there yet.

The Humilation Part II

hey lisa,
i thought about your offer..i am going to pass. i just felt, well in addition to the smoke thing, guilty..which you can understand..but thanks and it was fun to hang out!


Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Oh Fuck

You would never ever in a million years believe what humilation and disappointment I experienced tonight. My mind is numb. I know tomw I am going to feel worse than I do now, especially when I have to step into my office, where I was ready to get down on my knees to give this FUCKING ASSHOLE a blow job, only to have him reject me. IN MY OWN FUCKING OFFICE, WHERE I HAVE TO BE BE FOR 8 FUCKING HOURS A DAY.

So we meet. I'm nervous as hell, but we are having a drink, and chatting away, the conversation flowing freely. He is very funny and charming and all that. We get around to the reason that we are there. SEX. And that we wnat to have it. Often. With each other. We both agree that fornication is not going to happen tonight since I have my period, and I'm not about period sex. Neither is he so we decide to go back to my office so I can do him. Which is all kinda awkward. I mean, really now. But ok, I'm willing. We start kissing and groping and he stops and says he can't do this. Not because HE'S MARRIED but because I'm a smoker. And he's not. And can't stand the taste. GO TO FUCKING HELL. But I'm trying to be all cool and don't react much, just tell him he knew I was a smoker so....

We leave. He makes some lame ass joke, tells me he'll email me tomw, I tell him not to bother. He goes his way, I go mine. About 10 minutes later, I get the stupid ass idea to call him and tell him I'll willing to forgo smoking before I meet him.
And do you know what this prick says? I'll call you. AND SO FAR HAS NOT CALLED ME. FUCK YOU DICKHEAD. Here I am, willing to give up the nicotine to get laid and he blows me off.

I need to go to sleep now. God I hope I can sleep.

Can I Be Any More Nervous?


I have butterflies the size of subway rats in my stomach. And their trying to get out. Doesn't help that I got hardly any sleep last night.

Wish me luck!

Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Time Will Tell

Wednesday is not coming soon enough. Me & MM have had quite the exchange of steamy emails filled with sexual innuendo and racy suggestions. This is fun. Can this live up to the hype? When I asked MM that, he said "it doesn't matter if we do, does it? its all good!" I like that answer. I'm so serious and take everything very literally so his loose-ness is good.

And how about my boy Bobby Abreu of the Phils in the HR Derby last night!!!

Monday, July 11, 2005
I'm So Excited (& I'm Trying to Hide It)

I couldnt wait for this weekend to be over! As nice as it was, and it was very nice, I just wanted it to be over so it would be that much closer to Wed. when I meet up with Mr. Married (MM). I know. I know. But internet try not to judge me too much. If you knew the state of my love/sex life the past few years you would be more sympathetic. I'll put it this way..... it's been a long time. And not for lack of trying on my part.

Anyway I was wondering if MM had been thinking of me over the weekend and apparently he was, cause there was an email from him this morning asking if I was psyched. Of course I didn't tell him that I was (I'm not an idiot). But last week he asked me why I decided to meet up with him. I answered him (cute & funny) and today I asked him why he wanted to meet up with ME. A legitimate question. And I sent that email over 2 hours ago and have not gotten a response. Hmmm. I'm not going to read to much into that. As a matter of fact, I'm trying not to read too much into anything. I just want to have some FUN and some SEX.

Friday, July 08, 2005
The Start of Something

For the past couple of days I've been having a pretty intense eflirtation going on with this guy. So now next week I'm meeting him for drinks and.... This is someone I know, but not someone I see more than once in a while. And up til now, it's always been a platonic thing. Especially since he's married. OK. I know. I know. I said I know.

I've always thought he was quite cute and very funny. And I always got a vibe that he dug me but [stage whisper] he's married. And I have very strict rules about being with married men. Rules I am seriously considering breaking. I know.

I am weighing the pros and cons. Con being that he's married. Pro being it would be nice to go have some drinks, some fun (dare I say it, some sex). I've felt like such a nothing lately, I haven't generated any male interest in months.... I swear just thinking about it is making me all flushed.

Thursday, July 07, 2005
Timing is Everything

I have a passive-agressive controlling sister. And I've been cursing her out lately because of whatever bug she has up her ass she put the kibash on a trip to London I was supposed to take this summer with my niece & nephew. A trip we were supposed to be on this very week. When I turned on the tv this a.m. in addition to being stunned, saddened and of course, scared, I was a little grateful for my sister's b.s. It's not a pretty place this world of ours.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005
A Good Time Was Had by All

...well at least me. I spent a few days down in FL w/my friend and her son. How we laughed! And swam in the ocean. And drank cool frosty alcoholic beverages. And laughed some more.

Here's a bit of advice though: never, EVER fly SONG AIRLINES. They suck. And they have the rudest, most unattractive flight attendants/flying waitresses. Seriously.

I also got a chance to visit another old friend this weekend, and got to meet her 6 yr. old daughter. What a living doll. Smart, personable, cute... obviously, not SONG AIRLINES employee material.

And to cap the weekend off I colorwashed (one wall) my room and it came out pretty damn good, considering I suck at this kinda stuff.

It's been all about me since 1963

Name: Lisa Ann
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It's all about me. As it should be.

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