Monday, July 31, 2006
The Food in My Refrigerator is Trying To Seduce Me

The provolone (or is the mozzarella?) is calling me. Can you hear it? The seductive whisper of "just a little taste, oh it will be so good." I must resist it's siren song. The left-over Chinese food is chiming in too, "c'mon, a little chicken & snow peas never hurt anyone." Yeah buddy, like I haven't heard that line before.

I'm having a another colonscopy tomorrow (just because I had so much fun the last time.) As I'm not allowed any solid foods today (hello jello!) I'm fucking starving. The stale pretzels on top of the refrigerator that I really should have thrown out weeks ago? Sound really really good to me right about now. And I have to drink that nasty shit that makes you shit. And when I say nasty I mean REALLY NASTY makes me want to puke instead of poop nasty. Admit it, you wish you were me don't you?

Pray for me.

UPDATE: I've been drinking this crap for 3 hours and am NOT pooping. Me, the one who poops non-stop is not pooping. WTF?

UPDATED UPDATE: Still NO poop. And I ate a cold wonton (ok,2 cold wontons. And they were fucking delicious).

UPDATE #3: I love Casey Blake.

MORE UPDATE: Can you believe this shit? Or should I say non-shit? For the past 10 months all I've done is shit my brains out and now? When I want to? Not so much.
Seriously, what happens if I don't go? Should I stop drinking the stuff?
ALSO: Shut up Rick Sutcliff.

A LITTLE BIT LATER: We have poop. Lots and lots of it. Be careful what you wish for.


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Name: Lisa Ann
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