As you can imagine, months and months of non-stopping pooping have left me with some (back) side effects. Like hemmoroids. This time last year I didn't even know what a hemoroid was, and how fucking incredibly painful they could be. And let me tell you... they are FUCKING PAINFUL. And nothing seems to bring relief. Sure, the over the counters help for about 2 seconds. And then? FUCKING PAINFUL YET AGAIN. But that's not really the point of this post. The point of this post is me trying to look on the bright side of things. And the bright side to hemmoroids? They have totally taken my mind off (not) getting laid. Because really? The thought of having someone touch me even remotely close to the hemmoroidal area? I can't begin to tell you have freaking unappealing that is. All I'd be thinking of (besides OUCH!) is DON'T TOUCH IT. GROSS. DON'T TOUCH IT. GROSS. Now if that's not looking on the bright side, I don't know what is.
