Friday, June 09, 2006
Assume The Position

I assume alot of things. I assume that you are an asshole. I assume that if something can go wrong, it will go wrong. I assume that I am always right, and you are always wrong.

Seriously, I make alot of assumptions. Whether it's based out of arrogrance, ignorance, stupidity, naivety or whatever, I do. It's wrong, and usually, so are my assumptions (except the one where you're an asshole).

One assumption that my sisters & I always made was that my parents got married because they had to (they got married in Feb. & my oldest sis was born that June, you know, do the math). But we never directly asked and they never said anything.

Until my dad died. The night he died we were talking to my mom about what paperwork she should get together. One of those things was a marriage certificate. My mom says "there's something I need to tell you girls." My sisters & I looked at each other, like "finally." Very smug-like we start to tell my mother that we figured this out ages ago blah blah when she shushes us and tells us a story that totally rocked my world.

Turns out she & my dad secretly got married (well my dad's family knew about since they were only 17 (!!) and needed at least one parent to sign a consent). The reason they got married? My father didn't want to have sex without them being married (OMG!!!!) So they get married, my mother continues to live with her family (who have no idea she's married) and my dad lives with his. And continue to go to HS. And presumably, have legally married sex in the back of my fathers car (let's not go there). And then she gets pregnant. (This next part kills me) My mother, who is married to my father without her parents knowledge, chooses not to tell them she is already married. (Because? I'm not really clear on this -- it wasn't explained thoroughly to me and after that night my mom didn't want to talk about it - I think it was because my mom's family was ultra-religious and my dad's wasn't, even though they shared the same religion). So she tells them she is pregnant, they have a shotgun wedding and 4 months later my sis is born (I'm still not getting this part: you'd rather let them think that you had pre-martial sex (a sin) than were secretly married?).

Of course, being the skeptic that I am, and given the holes in the story (you should have seen me grilling my mom) I totally don't believe a word of this. I mean, really, would you? It just seems awfully convenient, this secret marriage. Remember, this was back in the 50's when it was totally uncool to have have a child before marriage (what a quaint world!). So you can imagine my surprise when my mom produces the marriage certificate that proved, beyond a reasonable doubt, yes, they were married in '55 and then again in '56.

I always assumed my parents got married because they had to. I always assumed it was my mother who pressured my father to get married. I assumed I knew what my parents relationship was when in fact? I knew nothing.

Blogger Jennie had this to say:

Whoa. What a cool story.

12:41 PM 

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It's been all about me since 1963

Name: Lisa Ann
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