Lately, I feel like my identity is so muddled and I'm questioning my life choices. Who am I? How do I define myself? Have I made the right choices? What's next? Where do I go from here? I hate feeling this way, doubting myself all the time. I know I must make changes, I just don't know what. I have to get this shit worked out in my head otherwise it's just going to get worse. And I can't let that happen.
It used to be easy. I was Lisa, daughter of J & I, younger sister of M & N. I had a clearly defined family, with a clearly defined family role. Once my parents died that identity was gone. It's been five years and I've been through the shock, grief, all the things that you experience when such an earth-shattering event happens. While I've come to terms with losing them I still haven't come to terms with where all this leaves me. And who it makes me.
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Queenmatrai had this to say:
Sometimes I feel that these 'larger than life' questions need not be answered.
What we need to do is live in the "Now" and be happy in the "Now" and find a purpose for being alive in the "Now"
That purpose could be to feed your cat or smile for yourself or even just say 'good morning' to a stranger on the sidewalk.
Try it...
Noojes- 1:57 AM
