A few years ago I met this guy, B. through work. A really nice guy, with really nice blue eyes and a really great smile, B. and I hit it off right away, finding out we share a love of alot of things. B. is very easy to talk with and I immediately had a crush brewing. Knowing that B. had just come out of an important relationship, I tried not get too caught up in the crush, just enjoying our time together. Some time had passed and then B. asked me to go out one Sat. night, to see this band we both liked. A Date! Well, what seemed to be A Date! At the end of that evening B. put me in a cab. Without a good night kiss. I mean, a real good night kiss. So was this a date I wondered on the way home? Several months have now gone by, but time had not moved this relationship forward. We went out, on what felt like Dates! to me but still no smooching or ..........
By that time, me being no dummy, figured B. was just not that into me. But I was never quite sure -- there were a lot of mixed signals being sent my way. So I tried to move on, not have much contact with him but thoughts of him persisted. You have to understand, B. is such a nice guy. A guy where you might have a good, steady, normal relationship. After much obssessing, and another really good Date! I finally confessed my feelings to him. He was very kind about it but his response was pretty much as a I figured. He liked me but didnt LIKE ME IN THAT WAY! He hoped we could still be friends but I told him it was better for me if we didn't maintain contact. Pride and all that. I really wished he were an asshole so I could hate him but .......
That brings us up to last summer. I hadn't seen him or spoken to him in months. Then I ran into him at a show, and it was great to see him. So since then we've hung out a few times. I try not to get my expectations up, but the hope that he has changed his mind is still there. He never does -- because we are Just Friends!
I haven't seen B. since early spring, so we had lunch today. A beautiful summer day in midtown. And knowing B. doesn't Like Me in That Way! still doesn't make me any less nervous knowing I'm going to see him.
But something funny happened today at lunch. I didn't care (that much) that we are Just Friends! I enjoyed our hour together w/o torturing myself over B.'s lack of feelings for me. I AM OFFICIALLY DONE WITH THE CRUSH! So we will be Just Friends! and that will be just fine with me.
